Archive for the 'submissives' Category

Apology

January 28, 2010

Dear sub boy:

I’m sorry if I’m not as accommodating, attentive, and available as you’d prefer. I’m sorry that my work comes first in my life these days, not you. I’m sorry that I don’t respond to your e-mails right away, or that I don’t immediately drop what I’m doing to return your phone calls. I’m sorry if our relationship feels unbalanced because I think about my needs ahead of yours. I’m sorry I’m not more sensitive to your needs and desires. I’m sorry if I’m not dominating you exactly how and when you’d like to be dominated. I’m sorry I don’t think about you as often as you think about me. I’m sorry that I’m not ready to be completely emotionally vulnerable with you, even though we’ve known each other for a few months now. I’m sorry that I’m confused about what I want. I’m sorry I don’t know myself as well as you know me. I’m sorry I have emotional baggage because I was involved with men before I met you. I’m sorry I haven’t lived up to your expectations.

Sorry,

S&L

Annual day of whatever

December 17, 2009

Things have been very busy these past few months, which is why I haven’t been adding new posts. Some interesting things have happened on the kink front, but I haven’t quite processed it all yet. At this point, though, I’m starting to think that I will never find a trustworthy and goodhearted guy, kinky or not. And I am growing ever more cynical about kinky men in general. Submissives seem to me to be deeply selfish and self-centered bullshit artists, weak, unreliable and unworthy of emotional investment. So I am not feeling very interested in submissive men in general these days. I don’t want to be involved with flimsy people, emotional cowards.

It’s my birthday. I’m used to having mine overlooked given the time of year it is. In general, I don’t really like birthdays. They seem forced. People you haven’t spoken to for awhile suddenly contact you out of the blue just to wish you a nice day. And birthdays make you feel worse if things aren’t going well.  A birthday is a good day to feel lonelier than usual, or more dissatisfied with how things are going. If you aren’t doing anything special on your birthday, then it’s like you’ve failed. But if you’re sitting at home updating your fucking blog on a normal, non-birthday day? No big deal.

I’m a year older. I feel like I’m still waiting for my life to begin.

Do you ever fantasize about just leaving? Getting into a car and driving away from your life, your commitments and entanglements? I don’t know where I would go, but the idea of flying down a long highway, no end in sight,  no real destination in mind, is very appealing to me right now.

Just…gone.

It’s funny. I’m surrounded by people. I socialize. But I still feel lonely. And I don’t think that lonely feeling will go away unless I can really be alone.

Or hell, maybe I just want a real relationship for a change, not all this second-hand, second-rate crap I’ve been offered, that I’ve been constructing.

Sorry, I’m rambling. I guess I’m just disappointed with this past year in general. I thought it would be different in a lot of ways, a grand beginning, but it’s been one of the worst in a long time. Growing pains.

I hope this year will be better.  Or at least, not any worse.

The reject pile

October 14, 2009

Male subs complain all the time about the BS messages they get from prodommes and scammers. And  I get all kinds of creepy, insulting, barely readable messages. So I present to you a slightly edited selection of some of the crap I get sent daily. Spelling and grammatical errors are original.

  • Creepy Horny Kitten:vewwwy vewwwy luvly legzzz mLady. i wish i were yur kitten so i could brush against yur legs fo long long time. I hope u find your dreams sooon Goddess.”
  • The Direct Approach: “I’m interested in you.” Sent twice by two different people (I think).
  • No, You’re Not: I have a line in my profile in which I mention that I’m  not looking for a boy, but a man who wants to be treated like a boy. This has caught the imaginations of several subs who’ve written to me claiming to be precisely that…including a 19-year-old. Friendly tip: Telling me you’re “very mature” for your age just emphasizes how young you are.
  • Fake Fetish: “Have you ever wanted to paint a slave with household paint or spray paint and make them drink it then walk them in public hooded?” Er, no.
  • Thinks I’m A Prostitute: “I was wondering if you offer Queening (Vaginal and Deep Analingus) sessions for very oral subs? I will be in [redacted] next month on business and wanted to inquire about a session. What  tribute do you require? Also, I normally stay at one of the [redacted] hotels. I was wondering if you offer outcall sessions?”
  • From A Self-described Female Supremacist: “only a female has the vanity & ignorance to make such statements..idiot”

Not to mention all the messages I get from people who are beyond my age range, not the right gender, not even close to being local, or who decide their first message to me should be a graphic description of what they want me to do to (though ‘for’ might be the more accurate preposition) them.

Don’t get me wrong. I do get nice, normal, respectful messages too, but the hideous ones stand out more for me. What’s more, the creeps tend to ruin it for everyone else. They put me in a bad mood for a few minutes and make all male submissives look bad. At this point, anyone who contacts me is presumed guilty until proven innocent. That is, my default assumption is that any male sub who contacts me is a creepy, entitled,  misogynistic, selfish little shit. Some just hide it better than others.

The aggrieved male claim that women are too picky is ridiculous. Quite a few of us get this way because of men.