Archive for the 'Collar Me' Category

The unsatisfactory end to an unsatisfying affair

January 30, 2010

At least I got the last word. He’s been too chicken to respond. I don’t think I was that mean.

[Redacted]…You weren’t planning on calling me ever, were you? Or responding to my e-mail?

I found your newest profile, kid. It was surprisingly easy, especially since you were silly enough to use a real photograph of yourself. Now I’m wondering how many profiles you’ve had up, there and elsewhere, and who else you’ve been talking to or meeting with since we got together. It seems clear there’s been at least one.

Now I’m wondering whether those times you couldn’t make it at the last minute–your sister’s collapse, the illnesses, etc. were just more lies. Were you just out scouting for another domme and needed an excuse to break our dates?

That’s what happens when you’re deceived–you doubt everything you’ve been told.

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s dishonesty.

But even if the stories weren’t lies….somehow it was acceptable for your life to get in the way of our time together, but not mine. I was very understanding about all the times you couldn’t see me because other things got in the way. You have not reciprocated this understanding. Instead, you’ve accused me of not knowing what I want.

Well, I don’t think you know what you want. You obviously like kinky women, but I don’t think you can tolerate the other stuff that comes with being with a dominant. It seems that you still want to be in charge of the relationship. Not even equal. [Redacted], if you want a kinky woman who will cater to your submissive desires, then you should look for service tops or pro-dommes and leave the natural dominants alone.

Just because I don’t want to dominate my partner all the time doesn’t mean I’m confused about my orientation or identity. I know who and what I am. I am dominant and I am kinky, but I’m more than just a domme. I need a partner who understands that, someone who is more than just a sub himself. I think your behavior reveals that you’re not a man who likes being treated like a boy sometimes…you’re just a boy.

I’m sorry you turned out to be this way. I’d already had a bad feeling about subs before meeting you. This has just confirmed my suspicions.

My biggest regret is that I didn’t beat the living fuck out of you when I had the chance.

I’m not terribly upset, though I’m a little hurt that he didn’t even bother telling me it was over explicitly. I guess I never mattered much to him in the first place. And I’m definitely annoyed that I wasted the past few months on someone who turned out to be so worthless. I thought there was potential there, but I guess I was wrong.

Hot Hot Heat – “Shame On You”

The reject pile

October 14, 2009

Male subs complain all the time about the BS messages they get from prodommes and scammers. And  I get all kinds of creepy, insulting, barely readable messages. So I present to you a slightly edited selection of some of the crap I get sent daily. Spelling and grammatical errors are original.

  • Creepy Horny Kitten:vewwwy vewwwy luvly legzzz mLady. i wish i were yur kitten so i could brush against yur legs fo long long time. I hope u find your dreams sooon Goddess.”
  • The Direct Approach: “I’m interested in you.” Sent twice by two different people (I think).
  • No, You’re Not: I have a line in my profile in which I mention that I’m  not looking for a boy, but a man who wants to be treated like a boy. This has caught the imaginations of several subs who’ve written to me claiming to be precisely that…including a 19-year-old. Friendly tip: Telling me you’re “very mature” for your age just emphasizes how young you are.
  • Fake Fetish: “Have you ever wanted to paint a slave with household paint or spray paint and make them drink it then walk them in public hooded?” Er, no.
  • Thinks I’m A Prostitute: “I was wondering if you offer Queening (Vaginal and Deep Analingus) sessions for very oral subs? I will be in [redacted] next month on business and wanted to inquire about a session. What  tribute do you require? Also, I normally stay at one of the [redacted] hotels. I was wondering if you offer outcall sessions?”
  • From A Self-described Female Supremacist: “only a female has the vanity & ignorance to make such statements..idiot”

Not to mention all the messages I get from people who are beyond my age range, not the right gender, not even close to being local, or who decide their first message to me should be a graphic description of what they want me to do to (though ‘for’ might be the more accurate preposition) them.

Don’t get me wrong. I do get nice, normal, respectful messages too, but the hideous ones stand out more for me. What’s more, the creeps tend to ruin it for everyone else. They put me in a bad mood for a few minutes and make all male submissives look bad. At this point, anyone who contacts me is presumed guilty until proven innocent. That is, my default assumption is that any male sub who contacts me is a creepy, entitled,  misogynistic, selfish little shit. Some just hide it better than others.

The aggrieved male claim that women are too picky is ridiculous. Quite a few of us get this way because of men.

Why are they so annoying?

September 10, 2009

The guys who contact me through my profile on CM are so damned inquisitive. They are constantly asking questions. Why’s your picture like that? Why do you have the other picture up? Why don’t you like libertarian politics? Why didn’t you answer my message? Why didn’t you answer my second message? What’s your Yahoo ID? Can we talk on the phone? Tell me. Give me. Feed me. Want me. Me. Me. Me.

Even thinking about it makes me feel a little suffocated. If there’s one thing a sub likes to do, it’s to be all up in your shit constantly (well, if you let them). The former boy was like that. He sent me dozens of e-mails per day, some just to ask how I was, or to tell me what he was doing, or just to say, ‘hi’. If I only sent back one or two responses, then he’d get all freaked out and send even more, leave texts, call me, etc.  Once, I mentioned to him that I’ll probably only be in the area for a couple more years at the most and could end up pretty much anywhere after that. His response? Hopefully suggesting that we’d still talk on the phone or exchange e-mails everyday for like, forever, I guess.

Sigh.

But the guys who really irritate me are pushy types who want to know my real name, city, and profession right away. I had one guy ask me what I do for work and then get pissy when I wouldn’t tell him. He called me “flaky”, which a) doesn’t make sense and b) is rude. Exchanging a few casual messages on a website doesn’t give you any sort of claim to that kind of information, fellas. If I want to share those details, I’ll do so of my own accord, not just because you asked.

Goes to show how even those who seek the control and authority of a domme still operate with a typical male sense of entitlement over women.

I guess it never occurs to men that there might be perfectly legitimate and sensible reasons why a woman would choose not to reveal information that just might make her vulnerable to stalking or harassment. I don’t live in a particularly large city and there are certain details about myself that would make it pretty easy for a determined person to figure out exactly who I am. I’m also at the very start of a career in a somewhat conservative profession. So I’m certainly not interested in floating more personal information out there on a fucking BDSM website than strictly necessary.

Not to mention the fact that, oh hey, I like doing things my way and hate being controlled, manipulated or pressured. But of course, since I’m female, if I don’t yield to some random man’s wants or expectations, then I’m the problem: stand-offish, bitchy, cold, rude, rough etc. Well fuck me, but did you expect someone with a dominant personality to be a damned bunny rabbit?

So I consider it a red flag now when a guy presses continually for personal details, or to talk on the phone or  to meet in person. Besides being utterly annoying, that person is highly unlikely to have my needs or desires uppermost in his mind.