April 30, 2009

This is not a PC thing to say (obvs), but I’ve had a thing for rape for a long time.

I’ve fantasized about forced sex since I was a wee lass. Sex + violence = taboo = hot. But something I’ve realized only recently is that, unlike a lot of women with a rape fetish, I’ve always identified with the rapist more than the victim. I’ve admitted this to exactly one person, and now, you, dear reader.

It’s funny because I’ve seen some rape-themed porn (or, at least, porn that came reaaaallly close to it), but have been really turned off by it. The actual images of a woman being brutalized inevitably make me identify more with her than the attacker, and then whole thing just sickens me. It’s the opposite of sexy.

But I like reading stories about forced sex, particularly those written from the point of view of the rapist, because I can ‘assume’ the more active role.

The thought of forcing myself on someone, even someone who is unwilling or reluctant, and ravishing him? Hot. Holding him down while he struggles? Hot. Sneering at his cries of pain, his tears? Hot.

And (again, not PC), I think the idea of penetrating someone without consent is especially hot. It’s this specific thing, forcing a piece of me into another person, that gets me off. I sometimes wish I could grow a temporary penis in order to enact this fantasy. I have no desire to actually be a man (or, to be clear: to actually rape anyone for real). I just think it’d be way easier to orchestrate a surprise ‘attack’ if I didn’t have to wear a strap-on, have lube handy, etc.

I would slip into the house quietly, take my shoes off so I wouldn’t make any noise. He would be asleep, maybe (and conveniently naked). I’d climb on top of him and cover his mouth with my hand in case he starts screaming. I’d stuff a gag into his mouth, then hold his arms above his head while using my other hand to unzip my pants. He’d be struggling a bit, scared of what’s coming, but too weak to escape.

As I fuck him, I’d whisper evil things into his ear, “You like this, don’t you, you  little slut?” I’d pause to grab his throat when he doesn’t answer, force him to nod, say he likes what I’m doing to him. I growl, “Beg me to fuck you harder, slut!” and he would whimper out the words, “Please fuck me harder.”

I’d ride my bitch until he is sore and shaking. I’d bend him over a chair, take him from behind on his hands and knees, on his back with his legs up in the air for me to grab. I’d make him suck me off after I fuck him, grab his head, make him choke a little on my cock.

I’d make him thank me for the privilege of being my slut. And then I’d leave him, a well-fucked, a shivering mess.

Damn. I’m getting excited just writing about it.

I wonder if there are any other women out there who have rape fantasies, but imagine themselves as the rapist rather than the victim. It can’t just be me, can it? And, are there guys out there who fantasize about being raped?


4 Responses to “Taboo”

  1. Noel Says:

    I completely agree here.
    I have a huge thing for rape- when I was younger I identified as the victim, and in my more submissive times I still do…. but recently I’ve found myself assuming the role of the attacker.
    Slamming him into the wall, a knife to his throat. “Hold still, bitch,” while I remove his pants. Shove him down over the couch and ride him until he is weak, whimpering, and shaking….

  2. axe Says:

    I fantasize about varying levels of being forced all the time. My earliest daydreams (before I new they were sexual) involved being abducted by women, tied up and…well…since I didn’t know about sex that’s all they did.

  3. Stabbity Says:

    It’s definitely not just you. Like you said, it’s not PC at all, but the idea of having that kind of power over someone is just so, so hot. And then there’s the whimpering, struggling, and begging you to stop… I’ll, uh, be in my bunk.

  4. Sadiste Says:

    Right there with you, sister.

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