Turn-on, turn-off

March 27, 2009

Here’s another list-style blog post because I feel guilty about not updating in awhile and lists are so much easier to write. This time, it’s a Playboy bunny-style summary of my turn-ons and turn-offs.

Turn-ons:

  • A gentle kiss anywhere on my upper back. Guaranteed delicious shivers every time.
  • Having my breasts cupped from behind
  • Feeling an erection pressing into my ass or back (depending on how tall the boy is)
  • Light sucking of those creases that make up my ‘v’…not the thigh and not the puss, but the sensitive, often overlooked nether region between.
  • Running my toes along a hard cock, straining against clothing or leather straps.
  • Moans, groans, sighs, grunts, curses, screams–I like hearing the effect I’m having on a boy.
  • Gently rubbing one foot over his face as he’s kissing the other, having my toes sucked, my arches licked. This is even better when I’m on the verge of orgasm.
  • Neediness, desperation, frustration. I want him groveling at my feet, so hard and eager to touch and taste me that he can’t control himself.
  • Pain. It’s a weird mixed-up thing for me. I enjoy inflicting pain because I can almost taste it–the little cries I force out of him, the heat of his flesh, the agonized writhing and arching. And perhaps I have a tiny bit of masochist in me (I had him with fava beans and a nice chianti…OK, cheap joke). I test out new gear on myself, just to determine how stingy or whatever something feels. This can be arousing, depending on my mood–probably because pain and sex are so closely associated for me.
  • Thoughtful, gentle, sweet nerds. I love nerds; they are the best boyfriends. I am a nerd myself and have only ever dated slightly nebbishy or geeky boy-next-door types. I’m attracted to brains, a sharp sense of humor, a mildly self-deprecating manner. I have never been attracted to: bad boys, potheads, jocks, frat boys, or hipsters. Nerdy boys tend to not only be smarter, funnier and more enlightened than the average guy, but try way harder too.
  • Boy-on-boy action, especially if I get to direct.
  • Long walks on the beach. Making love on a bed of rose petals. Adult easy-listening. Chocolate anything!

Turn-offs:

  • Silence or lack of reaction, e.g. going down on a guy who’s just lying there like a sack of potatoes. What fun is that?
  • Being dominated. There are some who still think every woman secretly wants to be swept off her feet, seduced, taken. I really, really don’t. I hate being ordered around and I find the idea of being used like an object or turned into a pet to be such a foreign concept. I still don’t really understand what subs get out of being dominated.
  • Arrogance and conceit. Smugness. Being talked down to or patronized. Being called, ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie’ makes my skin crawl (unless the person doing it is a little grandma-type).
  • Awkward dirty talk. I said earlier I didn’t like silence, but a few groans and moans are preferable to stilted phrases like (imagine saying this in a normal, conversational tone), “Hey, um, I don’t think I can hold back any longer.” What do you say to that? My response? “Er…okaaaay.”
  • Cross-dressing. Forced fem just doesn’t do it for me.
  • Tighty-whities
  • Bad smells
  • Long hair on men. I just think most guys look more handsome with short hair.
  • Most facial hair (stubble is the exception. I like stubble purely on an aesthetic level, though)

  • Prickly whiskers rubbing anything. Again, I like the look of stubble, but not the feel.
  • Rough jabbing and poking.
  • Visible perspiration. Sweaty, damp hands.
  • Perfunctory oral
  • Yawning
  • Really wet, sloppy, drooly kisses

  • Being fetishized or exoticized (an ever-present danger if one belongs to certain ethno-racial categories)
  • Republicans

  • Spandex unitards. Someone once suggested this as a good outfit for a submissive to wear while serving since it’s so revealing and yet, not. I think something like that would make me way more uncomfortable than the sub. First, the human body, which is something I can accept, appreciate and even celebrate in its natural state, is transformed by spandex into a bulgy, shiny mass of awkward. With hair poking out. Second, I’d always be picturing the sub about to take off and slide down the hall on his belly like a penguin.

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